OK so just a breakdown of my year. This may be somewhat lengthy so bear with me. This year had it's ups and downs. I can't really fathom how the fuck I got through it but I did.Let's work our way from (what I can remember) January to December.
January: OK so I should have known this year would be shit because my new years went to well. I had a great time with friends and family. Laughing it up and drinking. I mean I couldn't go back to college after the year started but whatever fuck it right? I had my sisters, my best friend, and my family. I was content.
February: This is the month where my life changed DRASTICALLY. I met Ural. He was iffy at first. I didn't like him but he grew on me. I enjoyed being in his company and things were looking like we would become a couple somewhere down the line.
March: This was a pretty chill month. Shit didn't really start fucking up until around the end of August. I was working at this time. I had my little part time job at the popcorn stand in Whitemarsh and I was good.
April: I can't remember shit from April !
June: June was cool. I was still content with life and things weren't too bad. I was still messing with Rashaun at the time (major downfall) but things were OK. I still had my friends up Coppin and everything was cool.
May: It was whatever. It was hot as all hell and I spent a lot of time with Rashaun. I was trying to balance him and Ural. You know have my cake and eat it too? Well I don't know what the fuck I was thinking but I'm glad I left Rashaun in the past.
July: I was offered the opportunity to move out on my own and by the end of the following month I would moving out on my own.
August: I turned 19. Shit got real. I moved out of my dad's house and me and my sisters started seeing less of one another. It was awkward for me in a lot of ways and things were becoming ass. It was all due to a roommate that I should have never put my trust in. This is where the headache began.
September: Things were OK. Not great but things were legit. I was still smoking weed at this point and drinking excessively. I was trying to live life and enjoy myself but little did I know that was my downfall.
October: I ran the fuck away from my own home, tried to kill myself, had to be put on medication for chronic depression and bipolar disorder, my father banned me from his house, my family had basically stopped speaking to me. My job at the assisted living home was ass but by this time I started working at Elev8 and now my money was looking OK. The water in our damn house got shut off my roommate threatened me, I was losing my fucking mind 10x, Ural and I became a couple, I started seeing a psych and I had given up the weed and alcohol.
November: Wasn't completely shitty. My dad and I started to develop a better relationship. I didn't feel the need to commit suicide anymore. I was finally becoming happier. I had gotten a couple more tattoos. Ural and I were getting closer and I had really started to think things were looking up.
December: Bumpiest damn month of my life. I had a period that felt like I was being stabbed in the damn vagina. Ural may or may not be cheating. I'm starting driving school in January. I'm debating on my next tattoo. My job is lovely. My cousin and I are getting closer. My anxiety is a little worse. I need to call my counselor and I think a nice vacation away from all these stressors may do the trick. Nothing major just a weekend in the hotel by my damn self. I can't get this idea of Ural cheating out of my head. I want to approach him about it but I don't know what to say exactly without freaking out or hitting him. I really like even if I ask him he may lie. I don't fucking know.
*deep breath*
So all in all this was a brief synopsis of my 2012. It had its good times and bad times. It had it's suicidal moments and times where I wanted to rip my damn hair out, but I'm alive. I can't complain. Well, I can but that just wouldn't be right.
So I guess you could say: 2013 better be a lot better because I'm sick of this shit.
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