Im Not Exactly Sure

I Think Im Stressed.
Im Not Sure If It Has Anything To Do With Trying To Find A Second Job or Maybe Im Just Always Going To Be Stressed. I Just Feel Lost. My Meds Are Keeping Me Cool For The Most Part. Im Trying To Focus On The Positive But I Feel At A Stand Still Yet Again. I Just Want To Be Happy. My Relationship Is Fine &&. My Home Life Is Good. I Just Dont Feel Special. Like I Dont Matter. I Really Just Want To Disappear For Awhile &&. Come Back Already Successful. Its Not That Easy I Know. But Its Just Getting Ridiculous. My Mind Is Racing &&. Im Not Really Liking It.

My New Year

We all fell asleep around 5:30 January 1st. We woke up around 12 and everything was lovely. I woke up in my boyfriends arms and we had our kiss our 12:00 midnight. This was a new years to remember.

The pictures say just about everything.

ENOUGH SAID. Glad You Made It To 2013.


xoxoxoxo.

Is There Really A Mr. or Mrs. Perfect ?

My answer is FUCK NO !

If you believe for a goddamn second that the person you are masturbating to every damn night in your dreams honestly exist your stupid as fuck. I'm not saying that there isn't someone out there for every one but in all honesty why would you want someone completely perfect? Take me for example:

Due to me being bisexual I have my ideal woman and ideal man. My ideal woman is a tall, olive toned female, with long black hair, big brown eyes, round lips and a tongue ring. She has a lot of tattoos and a smile that could light up a room. I would want her to be loving, caring, family oriented, someone my family would approve of, hardworking, loyal, and romantic. Now you know as well as I do there is NO WAY on this damn planet that this bitch exist, and if she does exist her sexy ass isn't interested in me. For one, I'm not the prettiest thing on the planet. I find myself attractive and all but normally females like the one I just listed, are normally looking for someone a lot like them.

As for a male companion I would LOVE for him to be somewhere between 5'9 and 6'2. He would brown skinned, and have several heavily tattooed areas of his body. No criminal record, a college student, drives, works hard, lives alone, loves his mother, plays video games, loves home cooked meals, family oriented, the oldest sibling of maybe like 4, and goes to church. I have no idea why I need so many different attributes for man but whatever. Honestly, I would enjoy having this kind of man. He would be the kind of man I made love to on the regular, he would be the ideal father to our children and he would love me genuinely. Sadly, this man may be gay on the low and that shit would break my damn heart.

I don't know why I can't think in an optimistic manner when it comes to finding the "perfect" mate but I honestly feel like setting your standards to high will just get you fucked over. What would be the point in finding someone who was perfect knowing after a while all the fuck you would do is complain on how you never get to complain. I don't want the perfect mate. I want someone I can love and will love me. Someone who I can complain about and complain to. Someone who give me things that I need and not just want I want. I just really want to settle down with someone who I can see me spending my life with when the time comes. Someone like Ural. I think I've found someone I can be happy with for a long time if time permits. I love him and I hope that this lasts. I know he's not gay, he loves me, my parents approve, and he's a sweetheart. I'm good.

There may not be a Mr./Mrs. Perfect but I love the Mr. I've found.