Tomorrow

If This Week Goes Anything Like I Hope. This Should Be A Good Week. I Dont Have Too Much To Say Tonight. I Dont Know If Its Because I Have Really Bad Gas or Cartoons Are Really Good Tonight. Either Way Im Almost Done.

I Enjoy Blogging From My Phone. I Think I'll Do This Shit Everyday. This Is One Of The Less Interesting Posts. Anywho Time To Call The Beau &&. Boo Love Lls.

Yet Again

Ok So My Bad I Havent Been Blogging Like I Promised I Would but One My Laptop Is Rated Shit &&. Now I Have To Get To The Bitch Fixed ! I Dropped It, The Charger Peice Ripped, &&. It Had A Virus (Which I Fixed) but Aside From The Shit It Still Works. Anyway, Lately Me &&. The Mr. Havent Been The Best. We're Still Talking but We're Still Off. He Doesnt Text Me In The A.M., He Doesnt Call Every Night, &&. The Other Night He Had Something Important To Do So I Had To Catch The Bus Home. He Doesnt Feel Like Anything Is Wrong But Honestly Im To A Point Now Where I Can Show You WAY Better Then I Can Tell You. Its Whatever Though. Im Already Alone Really. I Have Like 3 Friends. Im Not Really Complaining Just Venting. Lately Two People Have Come Back Into My Life That Know Someone I've Recently Lost Touch With. It Feels Like A Set Up but What The Fuck Would I Know About Feelings. Anyway I'm Getting Ready To Exit The Bus. Talk To You Bitches Later

Vagina.

So this is one of those where I decide to blog. I don't know why the fuck I can't stay faithful to this shit but if my blog was a female I'd most def would cheating on her with Youtube. The VMA's are on and Chris Brown seems so fake tonight. Like normally, he'd be running up to accept the award and high five(ing) fans but his pretty ass just walked up there, said some shit (blah blah Team Breezy blah blah directing music video blah) I love Chris Brown don't get me wrong but I just feel like he just have more excitement. Pause, why the fuck are two corny ass actors announcing the Best Hip Hop Video. (Is this fucking posts going to be all about the VMA's?).

Ok so today I didn't get in the house until 4 o'clock this afternoon. I didn't have a problem though because I was with my roommate at the ER. What pissed me off was I'm a big girl trying to get fucking comfortable in this little ass chair. I just got my thigh tattooed last week and the shit was dry and itchy all fucking night. I really wanted to cuss everyone in that motherfucker out but that would've been rude. My boyfriend is coming over later to talk and just keep me company for awhile it's always quiet as shit when my roommate isn't home.

Rashaun keeps wanting to come by and I won't let him. I won't hang out with and I kinda feel bad that I'm blowing him off but then the guilt is overshadowed by pure anger from the last fucking 7 years of my life and I realized he's blown my off for bitches,weed,pussy, and sometimes Chinese food. Snapping back into reality after all this fucking time feels really good but I just feel like until I sit him down and fully explain how bad he's hurt me over the years and I get a genuine apology I REFUSE to be his "bestfriend". I can confide in him about anything and I'll always love him but we can't truly be just friends until we get our feelings out on the table. It won't be emotional, it won't be like :fuck you bitch and one of us leaves the setting, but it will be interesting to actually hear how he feels. He doesn't talk about his feelings much.

Ural and I are close. After that night of all that bullshit we've come to the conclusion that we're going to claim one another as boyfriend and girlfriend. It's not an official relationship but it feels damn good to have someone who genuinely cares about me. I don't know why I felt like I needed Rashaun in my life to love me because in all actuality I think he just loves the thought of me. Ural really means it. He hugs me and I feel safe. I'm not embarrassed to cry in front of him and the greatest feeling in the world is our car rides to Wal-Mart bumping music and just enjoying each others company. I couldn't ask for anyone better.

On a more comical note: I BROKE MY MOTHERFUCKING NAIL !! (I just had to go back and retype that shit like 4 times because motherfucking looked like mortherfcking <-- what the fuck is that?

My Favorite Curse Word

I love the word fuck !

I can say that fucking word every fucking day all fucking day long ! I'm a loner and I'm ok with that now. I only really have my family and for some weird ass reason I'm super ok with that. All the drama in my life due to some falsifying information is for the most part over. I don't really feel the need to lose my fucking mind anymore either. My medicine works well and I'm feeling like a thousand dollars well maybe like a hundred dollars.  I'm not a hundred percent sure I'm in my right mind just yet because I am still having some suicidal and homicidal thoughts at times. Like I want to blow some shit up or stab someone.


Side note: What the fuck is up with Everest commercials ? One was just on Tv is their fucking commercials are peer pressuring me into doing shit. Like I want to call and say: "Hey, umm yea some random crackhead  on Tv wearing a Everest shirt told to me to call, so what the fuck do you all do?"


Back to reality: Lately I've found myself looking at every woman that walks by (excluding family and friends). I just really love women and I really want to caress and love on one. I really am the mood to feel her smooth skin against my own, her lips pressed against my own, and the smell of her sweet estrogen to hit my nostrils. I'm just so in the mood to be with a woman.


So in conclusion, I'm a horny bisexual who is on some kind of mood swing pill who loves to say the word FUCK !


That is all.

So I've Lost My Fucking Mind

No literally.
I really did lose my shit and now I'm on some mood swing pills to get my mind straight. I lost a lot of my friends, the relationship w. my dad is depleting, and I gave up smoking and drinking. I decided to start a relationship with a good friend of mine and it's amazing. He (YES HE) has really been there for me. I know I was so hung up on women but he really has just proved that every man isn't the fucking same. My ex is finally out of the picture COMPLETELY !! She proved that just because you act one way doesn't mean that that's your real character. I got the fuck off of facebook and twitter. This is probably just temporary but I feel better without it. It's like quitting smoking or some shit.

Don't get me wrong I still love women. I have gay moments EVERY DAMN DAY ! I enjoy women and I'm still very attracted to the beautiful creature that is Eve. I will still put my tongue in the... *cough* sorry I was getting to far into it.

Side note: I've been baking a lot of cakes lately. (RANDOM)

Ok so about this medicine. It makes my upper arms fucking ITCH ! Like the side effects are crazy as shit. It's supposed to help me with my bipolar tendencies (not the itching the pill). It doesn't make me gain weight or anything but I really think it's giving me diarrhea. Like today at work I shitted like 5 times and it was a nasty kinda shit too (that was all to personal). Anyways, I'm feeling better though since being on the medicine and I like the feeling of being content and sober. My boyfriend and I go walking during the week so I'm getting some exercise and I'm eating better.

I got my nose pierced ! The shit bled like someone had attempted to rape my fucking nostril by sticking a straw in my shit and then decided to yank it out. It looks cute though. It's dainty and feminine. It doesn't look like a fat ass boogie or blister. I could cover it with concealer or something and call it done if I needed to hide it but my job is cool with it.

Is that everything I want to tell you guys or is there something else ?
Nope I think that's about everything.
Bye Bitches. =) ( I only call you bitches because I don't any of you personally and if I do then maybe you deserve the title ;) )

Shoot Me In The Foot PLEASE !

Ok So Quick Side Note: I really don't know what the fuck I'm doing on here. How the fuck do you follow a blog? I kinda almost forgot I had this damn blog but I'm back and I'm ready to let you all into my life (yet again).

DISCLAIMER: If you aren't for homosexuality I advice you to do two things:

1. Get The FUCK Off Of MY BLOG 
2. Get REAL (It seems like everyone has a little gay in them nowadays, I just have a substantial amount that I enjoy very much)

Ok so basically I have this ex girlfriend and this is how shit went: My senior of high school I was really big on this website called Downelink.com. It's a website for the LGBTQ community. It's like myspace kind of. Anyway, well I had a friend request one day from this girl. I added her and we began conversing. Ok so skipping ahead like 3 weeks, her and I realized that we went to the same school. We met up the next morning in the cafeteria and spoke briefly. Somehow we exchanged numbers and began texting and talking. Everything was good, she was a sweet girl but she had that dominance that I find all too sexy. So we continued talking and eventually started dating. We were a cute couple. We had a lot of fun on the phone, we spent a lot of time together, and she always made me laugh. Well all good things come to an end and her and I broke up. She had her reasons for us not being together and I just took it as a grain of salt and moved on. Was I hurt ? HELL YEA ! I just had to be okay with it though because crying and whining would've been stupid as shit. Recently, her and I spent some time together and some things happened. Well now I'm kind of in my feelings. She's in a relationship with someone else and sad to say I'm jealous. I'm trying to talk to other people and take my mind off of her and our past relationship but this shit isn't working.She feels like because of her and I messing around I'm hers now. She has this territorial thing about her that I LOVE, it's like the sexiest thing in the world. I just don't understand how she's going to be jealous when I'm giving her all the hints I can give like HELLO BITCH I WANT TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND ! I don't mind being her friend it's just we both know that we like each other but she feels she's not the right girl for me. That's always the fucking case with me ! I'm either too good of a girlfriend or they just cheat. I don't know what to do anymore. We've talked about it and it just seems to go nowhere. It's like she's got me running in circles trying to figure out what the fuck I'm supposed to do about the way I feel. The shit is a headache. I want to be her friend so I separate my feelings for her from wanting to be her friend. The shit is just a lesbians worst nightmare. I need a nap. 

It's Fucking Monday..

Ok, So I know for a fact I don't blog like I should and that's primarily because my mind doesn't always remember I have this shit. Blogging is ok but sometimes I wish I just could talk and my words would show up on the screen. I mean I could do that from my phone but when I say things like "It's fucking Monday" It'll show up on the screen like "I want a sundae". I don't know why I'm saying stupid shit like this but.. Anyway.. I FINALLY GOT A DAMN JOB ! WOO HOO ! GO ME ! OH YEA ! *cough* Sorry I got a little ahead of myself. But, yea I got a job. I'm finally a working girl it's nothing to serious just enough to put some money in my pocket. Ummm, I don't really have to much to say today only because its fucking monday and all I did today was wash clothes and talk on the phone. I'm pretty sure I'll have more to talk about later. My life doesn't become interesting until around 8:00.