Ok So I Need To Decipher My Thoughts:
Relationships: Shit is just really doing flips in my damn head. I want so bad to believe that shit will work its self out but I'm still catching a headache. I'm kind of hung up on my ex I must admit. It's like her and I haven't spoken since her and I broke up and decided not to be friends, but I want to just sit her down and tell her how I really feel. I want to move on but everyone I have my eye on is in the same category my ex is in. It's like if there was a checklist for everything that pissed me off about her and I, I find it in someone else. I guess I'm kind of looking for her in someone else in a sense just not with all the bullshit.
Family Life: I'm beginning to feel like motherfucking Cinderella in this damn house. I can't find work and it's killing me. I can't do shit with my life during the week other then to try and find work and clean. My dad is busting his ass at work and when he's not home and everyone else is, I feel like I don't exist. Don't get me wrong I'm somewhat of a loner but I like to be around my household sometimes. I just hate the fact my stepmom is somewhat distant. It's like the only people she wants to converse with is my aunt and my dad. Occasionally, my stepsister and her will converse but I'd never want to sit down and have a conversation. It's just an ugly feeling. Like she wanted my dad but not all he came with i.e. me and my sister. I don't want to talk to her about it only because sometimes when I say things I tend to come off disrespectful or rude. It's not intentional it's just second nature to me to always speak EXACTLY what's on my mind. I'm at a lost but whatever.
All over: My emotions for today were shitty 10 times fold. It was a fun day I just thought to fucking far into everything. It's kinda late but I guess I'm just going to relax and then this weekend I'll pack a bowl or something.
Goodnight Bloggers.
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